Todd's Story

Ever since Tanya was in elementary school there was a part of her that dreamed of adopting a baby girl from China. It never went away. I thought it was a wonderful idea, but was content with the girls.

Starting in 2007, the dream of adopting turned into a calling. Tanya and I attended a conference in January and both of us felt that God was leading us to adoption. But I thought if we didn’t talk about it, it would go away. I was content. Selfish is the better word. I loved being a parent to Jade and Hope and didn’t want to spend the time or money to adopt.

August of 2008. I went on our church’s mission trip to Nicaragua. I thought I was going because of what I could do in Nicaragua, not what God was going to do in me.

I don’t know how you explain the voice of God, but once you’ve heard, it you know it. And I knew that even though I had ignored the call to rescue a little girl from China, God was not through reminding me. So I came home and told Tanya, “I really think this is what we need to do.” But once again, my selfishness crept in and I rationalized if we stay really busy with other stuff, it will pass.

May of 2009. I listened to a speaker talk about families and the picture we have in our minds of what a family is supposed to look like. We think our families have to look perfect and we are bothered when they aren’t.

And even though I knew he was trying to get people to celebrate how God has created each family uniquely. And we should not be held hostage to an image that is unattainable. I was struck by how my selfishness was creating the opposite result in me. My family was exactly how I wanted it. I know we aren’t perfect and if you are receiving this letter, then you know we aren’t perfect too, but stick with me here.

My contentment/selfishness with this image of the family I already had was holding me back from allowing God to change our family picture. This image included someone who wasn’t in the pictures already displayed on the walls of our home.

So once again, I shared with Tanya that God was still moving me to answer this call to rescue a little girl from an orphanage in China. Tanya had always been ready and was praying for God to change my heart. Why China, when there are kids in similar situations all over the U.S. and the world? No other reason other than this is what we believe God is calling us to do.

And as God usually does, He had already been working ahead of us by sending Tanya a client who adopted through Christian World Adoption (CWA). We signed up for an information meeting in June with CWA and went. We left for the beach the next day and I went down to the pool and saw a lady with an Asian child. I stopped her and ask her about her child. Her face lit up as she told me about her little girl from CHINA and how her adoption agency, CHRISTIAN WORLD ADOPTION, was wonderful. I finally said, “Ok God, you win. I won’t run from this anymore.”

So now I am ready to take this next step and trust God to create His picture of what my family should look like.